Friday, April 25, 2014

Failure to Thrive


In cleaning out drawers, I came across death certificates of my parents, and the cause of death stated in each was, “Failure to Thrive.” I watched my parents die slow, horrific deaths, so I know what failure to thrive means on a death certificate. I didn’t pay any attention to the phrase at their demise, but now; after a decade, approaching my birthday, I wondered what the phrase really means in life. I looked up thrive in Webster’s, and knew that to thrive is ‘to prosper, or to grow vigorously,’ but was surprised to see this third definition: ‘to progress toward or realize a goal despite or because of circumstances.’ My question then became what exactly is failure to thrive? When does failure to thrive begin… at seven, forty, sixty -three?

So stated, our main goal is life, and we progress despite or because of circumstances.  We begin the journey as innocent children, and pass through many portals; never knowing what magic or terror is around the next corner. There are thrills and chills along the tour.

My grandson turns seven this month as I became sixty-three. His path is beginning as he learns extra languages, swimming, and reading.  I listen to him talk about goals that include making movies, building rockets, and maybe becoming an artist. I can remember some of my dreams of life at his age, and some have come to pass over the years, and been expressed in incredible ways. Some dreams died on the vine, and some were destroyed by my own mistakes and circumstances. Webster had that third definition correct.

My body will not do some things it would at seven or at forty, and there are disorders that can confuse and confound as they manifest with my family. My mind believes I‘m young, but mirrors are  truth- tellers. The memory fails; but my brain still learns, and my heart grows in wisdom, as I peer back over my shoulder. I spent my entire birthday month celebrating my grandson’s young life, and my own, “despite and because of circumstances.“ He and I played hard.


Failure to thrive? I think not. I’m still here, and thriving.