In cleaning out drawers, I came across death certificates of
my parents, and the cause of death stated in each was, “Failure to Thrive.” I
watched my parents die slow, horrific deaths, so I know what failure to
thrive means on a death certificate.
I didn’t pay any attention to the phrase at their demise, but now; after a
decade, approaching my birthday, I wondered what the phrase
really means in life. I looked up thrive in Webster’s, and knew that to thrive is ‘to prosper, or to grow vigorously,’ but
was surprised to see this third definition: ‘to progress toward or realize a goal
despite or because of circumstances.’ My
question then became what exactly is failure to thrive? When does
failure to thrive begin… at seven, forty, sixty -three?
So stated, our main
goal is life, and we progress despite or because of circumstances. We begin the journey as innocent children,
and pass through many portals; never knowing what magic or terror is around the
next corner. There are thrills and chills along the tour.
My grandson turns
seven this month as I became sixty-three. His path is beginning as he learns extra
languages, swimming, and reading. I
listen to him talk about goals that include making movies, building rockets, and
maybe becoming an artist. I can remember some of my dreams of life at his age,
and some have come to pass over the years, and been expressed in incredible ways.
Some dreams died on the vine, and some were destroyed by my own mistakes and
circumstances. Webster had that third definition correct.
My body will not
do some things it would at seven or at forty, and there are disorders that can
confuse and confound as they manifest with my family. My mind believes I‘m young,
but mirrors are truth- tellers. The memory fails; but my brain still
learns, and my heart grows in wisdom, as I peer back over my shoulder. I spent
my entire birthday month celebrating my grandson’s young life, and my own, “despite
and because of circumstances.“ He and I played hard.
Failure to
thrive? I think not. I’m still here, and thriving.